Josie Cadicamo has struggled with severe depression throughout most of her four years in high school.
Her darkest moment came Feb. 22 at South Lyon East when she overdosed in the school’s bathroom in an attempt to take her own life.
“I didn’t mean to end my life, I just didn’t want to be feeling this way anymore,” Cadicamo said, nearly three months later and just days after receiving the South Lyon Educational Foundation’s 2021 Perseverance Award.
She immediately regretted her actions. She entered her English class late and sat down, feeling faint.
Teacher Jeff Steger, who also has instructed Cadicamo in theater and whom she had confided in previously about her struggles, noticed his student seemed disoriented as she got up and approached his desk. He leaned toward her, trying to see into eyes that appeared to look right through him. Steger recalls Cadicamo then quietly and calmly said: “I took a bunch of pills.”
He quickly placed a 911 call and reflects now on how grateful he was to have been at school on a day he had previously scheduled to take off after getting his second COVID-19 vaccine shot.
“I hesitate to consider what she would have been willing to do or not do. They wouldn’t have known why she was out of sorts, let alone the real reason,” Steger said. “I definitely have a number of kids this year who are struggling: kids dealing with loss, COVID and otherwise, kids dealing with traumatic experience and generalized depression and anxiety. For teens in 2020 and 2021 especially, the stress is great.”
Because she had a teacher she could confide in, Cadicamo is here today — persevering — looking forward to graduation and a life beyond high school and spreading a message of hope for those suffering from mental health issues.
“I wouldn’t have said anything if it had been any other teacher. He had been so supportive in the past,” Cadicamo said. “He was the one making a point of calling me and one of the people in my corner and reminds me that I am going to do great things in life.”
Steger wrote a letter of recommendation for Cadicamo to receive the Perseverance Award, given to one graduating senior at each high school in South Lyon who had overcome personal challenges. The award comes with a $1,000 scholarship.
Cadicamo first began experiencing severe anxiety in eighth grade as she faced decisions about high schools and stress about her grades. In 2018, she also suffered the losses of five close friends within about five months, including one to suicide.
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Among her many responsibilities she had to balance heading into the pandemic were two jobs. She worked at Target and also provided childcare at her church. Additionally, she has a large part in caring for a 2-year-old boy, Sam, for whom her family has guardianship.
Cadicamo kept her depression mostly hidden until last year when it finally overwhelmed her.
“I went through therapy and was seemingly fine until COVID hit and those feelings came back,” she said. “People dying every day and you hear bad news every day and I was on theater, mentor to freshman, dual enrolled at college, suddenly home every day. I felt I shouldn’t be suicidal and depressed, the whole world is on lockdown, I’m not alone.”
But she felt herself sinking to a breaking point. At the end of January, she was admitted for the first time to Forest View Psychiatric Hospital in Grand Rapids for a 10-day stay. After her overdose on pills in February, she returned. In early May, she completed her third stay.
After a long struggle and multiple diagnoses including bipolar disorder type 2, generalized anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, Cadicamo is now hopeful she has been prescribed the proper medications. She is also learning new coping skills and unshouldering some of the many heavy responsibilities she had been carrying in order to further aid her mental health.
Cadicamo acknowledges she has struggled with the change that will come from graduating high school June 12 and moving on to college, saying she had felt like she fulfilled her purpose and there was “nothing left.” But now she is looking forward to the next chapter.
“Life isn’t just sitting at a school desk,” she reflected. “You will make mistakes, find your place and people, go to college and get a job that you love.”
She is glad to have inspired the South Lyon Educational Foundation with her story and to have received the Perseverance Award as she continues to fight to get her life back.
Steger says many people may think of perseverance as fighting through just one thing, but he noted Cadicamo has had to battle in multiple ways.
“Her determination to get through the darkness and find the light again is incredible to me,” he said. “She hasn’t given up hope even when it seemed like she was, there was always a clear indication that she would come out on the other side and there’s no way she won’t persevere. Sometimes you just need a little help.”
If you are suffering from depression and need a listening ear, help is available. Call 1-800-273-8255 or visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
Contact reporter Susan Bromley at sbromley@hometownlife.com or 517-281-2412. Follow her on Twitter @SusanBromley10.