SHERYL BOLDT
Your loved one or friend suffers from chronic depression, and you’d do anything for them. But sometimes you wonder if you’re doing more harm than good.
Besides feeling as if almost everything you say ends up being wrong, the longevity of their depression is beginning to wear on you.
When my family and several of my friends read this week’s column, I suspect they’ll recall the frustration and exhaustion they experienced during my long years of chronic depression. As mentally and physically exhausting as the struggle was for me, I’m sure I’ll never fully appreciate how difficult it was for them, as well.
Since May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I want to validate the despair and hopelessness your depressed friend is experiencing. Not to mention the shame for being “such a disappointment.” And the guilt for “not pulling [their] weight” and for “needing you so much.”
I’d also like to (at least attempt to) validate the genuine frustration and exhaustion those of you who valiantly try to be there for your loved one feel. In your sincere efforts to be available, you, too, experience a sense of despair “for not being able to do enough” and guilt for all the times you’ve screamed, “Why don’t you just snap out of it and try harder!”
Thankfully, your heavenly father compassionately watches over you, your friend and each one of us. 1 Peter 5:7 (ESV) says, “[Cast] all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” The Amplified Bible says God cares about us “with deepest affection.”